This Diwali, Don’t Preach About Burning Patriarchy, But Act On It!

I’m tired when people say let us not burn crackers. Instead let us burn patriarchy and sexism.

Respected Woke Amigo, 

Well. Being a feminist myself, I can say that’s a good idea. But you can’t just burn something that’s been deep-rooted in most of the households. You can’t hold a placard and eradicate issues like patriarchy and sexism. Only if it was that easy. 

Instead you make a beginning at your home and put an end once and for all to such messed up issues. For instance, asking the men in the family be part of the household chores. Also telling them on the face how women have the freedom to voice an opinion and bringing their point of views to the table, especially during discussions ranging from one topic to another. 

It’s fine. You can tell them. Sharing a ‘say-no-to patriarchy’ post on social media, tagging or forwarding them will not help. It’s best to talk to them in person. 

Now coming to sexism, think about those desi-uncles who go on a worshipping spree on ‘Women’s Day’. From sugar-coated forwarded messages to inspiring women-centric tales, they just spam their social media feed with ‘women-are-the-best’ posts. 

And from the very next day, they continue to don their opinionated hats and start their daily dose of sexist, misogynistic posts. Thanks to social media, it has not only brought us all together, but has also become a medium for some desi-uncles and guys to bring their casual sexist opinions to the table. 

So, you can either quit the group and stop them from learning their mistakes or just tell them bluntly to come in terms with equality. To begin with, most of the female bashing messages they send hover over topics like, dependent women, wife fearing husbands, spying women, etc. 

In reality, it’s actually the opposite. At least, in most of the cases. 

So, you don’t have to use a festival as a scapegoat to vent your anger on issues like patriarchy and sexism. Preaching won’t help. Questioning people who are instilled with such traits shall surely lead you to an unbiased environment. 

Because, if you stay quiet today and delay further, you might just end up being a victim tomorrow. 

• Vishal Komara 

Empathy is the KEY!

A few days ago, I stumbled upon a post on Facebook, where a 9-year-old boy had contemplated suicide because he was bullied in his school. 

It was heart-wrenching to see the boy sobbing and burying his face into the seat. Born with a rare bone-growth disorder, the little boy never knew he would be subjected to such heinous bullying.

However, the world doesn’t boast of such mean people all the time. Soon after hearing this painful incident shared by the boy’s mom on social media, an acclaimed comedian(who also happened to suffer from a similar bone condition) raised a fundraiser for the kid so he could embark on a trip to Disneyland. 

Though this incident might hopefully end on a positive note, the boy would still need to buy some time to forget what had happened. 

Yes, people have responded. People have showered massive support and love on the cute little boy. Millions of people have proved that humanity still exists. 

However, if at all there is something that has to play change, then it has to be the ‘upbringing’ part. 

I still can’t get rid off my teenage days, where I was subjected to bullying. I had stammering issues. The worst part was, the bullying came from the near and dear ones. From relatives to friends, everyone played their part and the irony is, today, they behave like noble souls. 

Though I managed to overcome from such an issue, it took me a while to understand the psychology behind bullying. 

Upbringing is the word. 

What’s the point in sharing stuff on social media that talks about saving the planet and other conservation crap, when we as humans aren’t empathetic enough when it comes to emotions and mental ‘issues’? 

When we don’t share a basic responsibility to help someone who seeks help, 

When we don’t have a kind heart to understand someone’s flaws, 

When we aren’t broad-minded enough to treat the person rightfully, 

What’s the bloody point in talking about saving the planet when we have failed in understanding each other.

So, before you could slog hard and make those sacrifices, try instilling some ‘empathetic values' in your kids. 

• Vishal