Friday, 22 September 2017

Yeh Mera Media! I Love My Media!

© Written By Vishal Aryan Komara
Note - The below article is a political satire and I hope it counts.

Aspiring Journalist Ravi knew nothing about the Media Hub. But still gave an interview at Traffic of India, a well-known tabloid. He thought his so-called passion can make a difference to the media industry. He got selected in flying colors and embraced his luck for the favor. But little did he know about the reality he is about to face.


Hello, I’m Ravi and today is my joining. I need to meet the HR Manager so I can get started with the formalities.

Please be seated sir as the HR manager is busy working on the Friday Fun Activity.

But, why they have to hurry? It’s just Monday today!

Sir, it is not the matter of rushing up. We call it employee engagement. Please be seated for some time.

After few minutes of glancing the ‘Economic Times’ on the table,

Hello Ravi,

Are you the new puppet?

Sorry, mam.

Are you the new joiner? I meant.

Yes, Mam. I’m Ravi from Bangalore. I was told to report today and get my joining formalities done.

Ok, Ravi. I’m Anita, the HR Manager here and I will be handling the ‘Employee engagement’ department.

Mam, could you be more precise?

From Monday to Thursday, I shall be a reminder and on Fridays, I shall be the host.

Great mam. That’s a lot of work.

No Ravi. That’s employee engagement.

No mam, I was referring to the work which employees have to go through.

Ravi. You are too smart. Aren’t you?

No mam. I’m still waiting for the formalities to begin.

OMG! Dude. This is the news industry. Formalities are formalities. Let us discuss it in the second half. We are getting late now. Hurry up. I shall take you the conference hall. We have an important meeting today.

Meeting Room - Where realistic opinions are never considered

Hello Guys,

This is Ravi, the new journo. He would be starting from today.

Ravi, please be seated and I shall introduce the team to you.

We are running short of time Anita. Let us do that later. Sorry, Ravi, I’m Varun and I’m the editor. We shall have a discussion later. We are actually in the middle of a brainstorming session.

Oh. That’s fine sir and what is the session about?

We are looking for some inputs to modify our news strategies so that we could gain more attention from the public.

So guys, Let us continue with the session.

Arun - I guess we should come up with celebrity interviews on a daily basis sir because junk is the new trend.

Ravi - But sir, we have women’s day coming up in this week. So we must come up with a two-page matter which covers most inspiring women from India who has made it big. That would actually connect with a lot of people. For instance, Ms. Indra Nooyi, the CEO of PepsiCo can be one of them. She is one among the world’s powerful women. Writing about such people might pump up the interest in our readers.

Editor - Oh. Come on Ravi. In India, Only Bollywood should represent feminism. Normally we don’t talk about the so-called inspiring women you mentioned. Other countries will take care of it.

Ravi - But sir.

Editor - It shall not work. Let us go by Arun’s strategy.

Karan - Sir, Kamal Hassan has shown interest in politics and he is eager to make an entry.

Ravi - But sir, he is just an actor. Isn't it too early to talk about it; instead we can cover about agriculture, lack of economic growth, urban pollution and not to forget our very own brothers and sisters from the north-east. We can start this as no media covers them. Why would anyone bother about an actor who is hinting his entry into politics? That too all of a sudden! Nobody cares.

Editor - No Ravi! We Care. We Indians care. We are mainstream and we prefer such issues to be realistic.

Ravi - But sir, this isn’t realistic.

Editor - Karan, I need a full page write-up about Kamal Hassan and his next political plans.

Ravi - Sir, we can start a show similar to ‘Ted Talks’ and invite inspiring and successful people from diversified backgrounds. For instance, we can invite Mr. Sundar Pichai to talk about his story so lot many youths can be empowered.

Editor - Look Ravi! Stop going international.

Ravi - Sir, Mr.Pichai is an Indian and he is the CEO of Google. Such personalities would definitely motivate the youth in India to think big. Isn’t it sir?   

Editor - No Ravi! We need to write about people who can just talk and not represent. And what empowerment you are talking about? When Mr. Pichai was in his 30’s he was already on the verge of becoming a ‘Technology Star’. But look at Kanhaiya; he is brainwashing people in his 30’s.

Ravi - Sir, but this show shall become a massive hit and we can expect great results out of it.

Editor - No Ravi. It shall not work and Karan, I need an interview on Kanhaiya coming up next week. Is that clear?

Karan - Yes sir.

Editor - So that’s it, folks. It was a good session and Ravi, let’s meet in the second half. You guys can leave now and just call Anita here for a moment.

Anita - Excuse me, sir.

Editor - Yes Anita. Come in. What’s your opinion on this new guy Ravi?

Anita - Sir. He is quite smart and sounds a great material.

Editor - That’s the problem. He is too thought-provoking. Put him in the editorial section and I guess he shall be a great fit there.

Anita - Editorial Section?

Editor - Yes! Realistic stuff which is the oldie’s favorite.

© Written By Vishal Aryan Komara

Note - The below article is a political satire and I hope it counts.